Current mood:	crushed
Current music:	nj falls into the atlantic - senses fail

Its hard to describe whats been going on in my life lately. I mean its been about twelve or so days since I updated, and normally you would think what could of possibly happened in that time?

Well in that time, Liam and I have almost broken up not once, not twice but almost three times. I’ve been getting mad about things I shouldn’t have been, and even madder about the things I should be.

School is hectic, tiresome but I enjoy it and love it to death. Once I’ve got this diploma I keep imagining myself in a whole range of exotic jobs. I have a thousand goals in mind so you could say I am keeping my options open.

Last week saw a return of the old Lauren. The one that goes out and stays out till close, the one that never wants to go home and is the life of the party. I don’t know if I was exactly the life of the party, but damn I sure had a great time. Tuesday night was a fun night out, with a group of friends, a group of friends that I wish was “my group”. I just felt so happy again.

And then Saturday night, whilst very very slow to start, was incredibly exciting until I got home, and liam and I had one of our first “we are going to yell at each other” fights and he walked out of my house ( or as I dramatically put it in a message to laura “out of my life”).

Sunday liam came over and although my cold shoulder plan just ended up with me in tears, my sadness was actually more overcome with the excitement of me wanting to wash the cat (in the bath). Washing the cat was fun, but it means the whole issue at heart really hasn’t been solved yet.

My mum says I’m cyclic. My moods and life go through so many different phases and usually the loop repeats itself. She pointed out that Liam doesn’t really realise that, but I haven’t really pointed it out to him.

Robbo and I caught up last week. Great plans are in action to stay up till four talking over a bottle of wine, just like the old days. I’m going to the Regatta and the RE on Thursday night – I feel like I am finally becoming social!

So there it is, the run down. I don’t know exactley where I stand with liam right now, but I don’t crave his affection like I used to…